Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
WHY WONT HOT GETMAN MAKR PUPR WITH ME!!!!???!?!!
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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