laughing at 16 and pregnant while fucking w/o a condom....
i always knew you were classy
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
She bit me. She gave me a brief pity cuddle. I gave her an awkward backrub, somehow I thought it would be a good idea to include the vagina in that. It wasn't.
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
These welts and bruises from letting gay boys whip my thighs last night are a clear indication i should lay off the tequila.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Don't come back. They don't have pants.
Oh god.
God has nothing to do with this.
He's smoked my weed, stolen my cigarettes, and used my campus cash, but I try to initiate sex and NOWWW he's all "As your RA, that's a line I can't cross"
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
look, bitch. one day when everyone i care about deserts me for my severe moral depravity, you're going to be the only one i have.
i can't wait.
Randomize
