Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
I wore a leash I'll tell you about it later I had a fantastic time
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
I don't care if his family has ties to the mafia, you go over there, ride his dick until it breaks off, put his dick back on, and keep on riding. Lather, rinse, repeat.
Thanks for the support, sis.
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
You cannot steal the fun of my nakedness. You do not own my nakedness. My nakedness is my sole property and I share that fun with whom I choose.
Randomize
