good thing vaginas are great cup holders
I understand Curling. That high.
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
Dude. He put me on a rewards point system for his dick. I have to do him favors now to build up to winning sex. This is shit.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I'll feed you vitamin c from my mouth this weekend. Like a baby bird.
Promise??
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
He got punched in the face last night? By who? I’ll invite him to our formal. Seriously.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
Randomize
