About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
to be honest..when i was little i used to think sharks can swim out of drains and eat people
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
You installed a beer holder in the shower?! You're the best roommate ever!
... That's a shower caddy.
I believe this is a toe-mate-toe vs. toe-maut-toe situation.
I just found 20 dollars in my vibrator box. Was it a drunken sign to myself to get more?
Remember that time I hopped home naked from the bar, then tried to convince you I was ok to drive you home? Good call on the taxi.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
Randomize
