Far right against the wall..hiding come find me. dont tell oyhers hahaha
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
I literally sat down and peed with my underwear still on. How does that happen?
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
We are going to the humane society and getting you microchipped so you don't get lost on your birthday. Either that or your getting a child leash
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
I might be the strongest willed bouncer ever. Earlier tonight a girl flashed me trying to get in. I just replied "Sorry I'm gay", she believed me and left.
Randomize
