Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
So should I finish watching Space Jam and then get head? Or get head while secretly watching Space Jam?
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Randomize
