I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
waking up outside has become so normal, the paper boy knows to set the paper next to me
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
he said i was so drunk that i shared a urinal with him and we simultainiously peed
she wouldn't play beer pong with me unless I took off the rollerskates.
So there I was praying he didn't go limp again, choking on a long, long gray ball hair. This is my Saturday night. This. Is. My. Life.
He was barking to the beat of "I like to fuck" and then chugged 3 beers and fell off the deck.. I should have gotten community service hours
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
We were on the ground in Tampa for 55 hours and we drank for 30 of them.
We won Spring Training 2013.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
Who the fuck watches Jessica jones and thinks I need to call a past fling?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
