It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
Got paid 100 bucks to babysit a kid for five hours while hungover. I slept the whole time and threw up twice. Yes 100 bucks.
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
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