Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
Just took a beer bong out of snuffaluffagus's trunk. Your move
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I'm almost positive that you shat in a birdhouse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
Randomize