My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
There are Vine videos that have lasted longer than he did
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
She said "we just have chemistry" ... I wanted to say "no, you just have a vagina."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
Accidentally drunk dialed my mom last night. Started the conversation with "Where you at girl?"
It's so obvious he's evil. I mean, would a non-evil person have facial hair like that?
Randomize
