Fuck appropriateness.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
Do you think the party boat will still go out if there is a hurricane?
My professor just gave us a margarita recipe.
Why?
Because, and I quote, he "wants to give us the tools to succeed in life."
I mean it was his birthday. How was I supposed to tell him he could not wear a sombrero while we bang.
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
On a unprofessional note, there's a new girl in photo.
That wasn't unprofessional. The fact that I'm going to fuck her is unprofessional.
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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