In America we eat man semen.
She was asian and in a relationship... my two weaknesses
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
I thought we agreed, no more super glueing action figures to my dick
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Some rando is vomiting profusely into the garden outside the employee entrance. Where are you when things like this happen to me?
Vomiting outside the employee entrance
i'm having the hardest time convincing my roommates to go dumpster diving for pizza with me. i really miss you..
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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