Why would you say my penis is small in front of so many people?
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
He did leave his bud tall boy and 2 choco tacos, so not a total loss.
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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