worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
so let's talk penis.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Why are there 17 orders of shrimp lo mein in the bathtub?
Randomize
