I got date raped at Sigma Chi last night!
Dude, you never made it to Chi last night. You fell into a tree and passed out.
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
You have to come over we all bought drinking hats. Mine has a turtle on it. Side note: somehow someone got their hands on 50 candied apples and we need to eat them...
She tried to leave the threesome and I heard you yell "Hey! We don't quit at halftime!"
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
Sometimes I have to make sure these messages are going to you and I'm not about to give someone in my phone book a heart attack.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
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