you can't spend the night you always smell like dirty underwear and my roommates complain
I don't think brook has ever known best
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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