The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
Did you know the Dallas Cowboy cheerleaders have an exercise show ON Demand? Yeah, I had a lonely night
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
When she showed me how she could touch her toes without bending her knees, suddenly her face didn't worry me quite as much.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Knowing that porn stars want to fall in love is the weirdest thing I've found to be beautiful recently. I'm so lonely.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
Got a $290 noise violation last night for shouting "THE KING OF THE NORTH" til 2 am
Randomize
