dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pop tarts are not kleenex
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i think it would be like really awesome if scientist could genetically engineer manatees to be like the size of goldfish so i could have one in my fishbowl and be like FUCK YEAH TINY MANATEE
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I just need to drink whiskey get off and eat some cheese. Why is that so fucking hard for god to deliver.
I like how you were offering me $50 last night to come home with you to take care of you and your dog
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
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