Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Talked a police officer into driving us the 1/2 mile home from the bars because we didn't want to walk. I never knew the back of cop Cars had plastic seats.
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
