between no blow jobs for the rest of his life, or no cheese for the rest of his life, he chose no blowjobs. ive never felt so bad about my bj abilities before
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
We were cuddling in his bed and I asked him a question and followed by making a microphone with my hand and told him to speak into it. If he never talks to me again that's probably why.
what happened last night?
we watched you eat an entire bag of dorritos in the pouring rain... you refused to come inside
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
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