i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
how the fuck am i supposed to make breakfast with spaghettios and mustard
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
he got a rim job in the basement.
apparently i was the one who gave it to him.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
U touched your head and and said "oh look blood" and then looked at me and touched my face... And said war paint
The real estate's complaint had the words "loud squealing at 2am" in it. Then I remembered that was me spoon feeding you guys old potato salad while you screeched like baby birds. Great night.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I felt I lost my designated buddy on a field trip when you wandered off to get high with strangers.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
You proposed a left ass cheek firmness contest and got a surprising number of contestants. Then you ruined it by groping someone who wasn't playing and awarding them first place.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
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