there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
Randomize