youre lurking in front of me
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
somehow this turned into a costume party you have to get here now with my banana suit or I'm wearing my birthday suit
2:23 am. Im just at McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, paying in nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
2:26 am. Im just being thrown out of McDonalds, in my pajamas, at 2 am, without my nickles, cuz thats how i roll.
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
i just used your hair clip to unclog my bong. i miss you so much!
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