your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.”
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
Randomize
