I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
My mom asked me to donate my child hood stuffed animals to the poor then I realized I was hiding liquor behind them. I told her I was too attached to them. She understood. Wrong in so many ways.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
If you recall, I made a Zoolander reference almost immediately after you pulled out of me the first time we had sex.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Celebrated Veteran's Day by getting a Marine (who just got back from deployment in the middle east) drunk and laid for the first time in 6 months. #Murica
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
Randomize