hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Couldn't get it up. She asked me what she was doing wrong. Didn't have the heart to tell her. I appreciated her willingness to adapt, but she's pretty much gonna look that bad her whole life.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
We had sex on a dog bed..
sorry there isn't a 'perfect ass' emoji
Such a big mess for such a small penis
someone found a bottle of whiskey in the bushes this morning when they were cleaning before an admissions event. i'm 95% sure it's mine..
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