I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We are having a competition to see who can masterbate in the wierdest place, right now hes winning since he masterbated on his Jr. High school bus.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I feel like a pile of chihuahua shit that got eaten by a Great Dane who puked it up and then set it on fire.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize