I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Awww my brother is growing up soo fast!! He just gave me the, "I know you're high but I won't tell mom n dad" look!
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
I think his parents are learning english from the phrases I shout during sex.
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I need a hoe opinion
go on
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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