I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Dude, I would hit that so hard that whoever could pull me out would become the king of England
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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