It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I knew the sex would be bad when he slipped the rubber on and said "safe sex activated"
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I dreampt that we were shooting zombies while we having sex. Is that normal?
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
Randomize
