Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Yeah he is here but I can't let him know I am until he has like 30 min worth of drinks. so when he see me he isn't like "omg ew,NO!"
I have so much to learn from you, wise slut
I can make a handprint turkey for extra credit in history. I feel like the word college should be in quotes on the school letterhead.
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He was so drunk we almost didn't even make it to his place because he didn't know where he lived
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