We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
I can't say "baby i'm to high to talk to you" in Starbucks.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
Worst way to find out I have a half sister
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
I think part of my soul drowned in beer and/or jack daniels last night.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
