I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
Their car went through the first bag of wine on the drive up...clearly 6 bags was not enough.
I need to stop smoking. I just talked to corn.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
If I had a dollar for every functioning brain cell you had I would owe someone a lot of money
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
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