I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Guy just walked in with a 40 and a Honda steering wheel. Where the fuck am I?
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
Randomize
