Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
ive decided something. ive accepted you as being gay. but i havent accepted you as a vegetarian yet.
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
Two questions: what are you doing RIGHT NOW? and do you know how to drive a golf cart?
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
He went down on me while i ate a whole 7/11 pizza. New level unlocked
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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