I'm laying in your front yard are you home
wakey wakey hands off snakey
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
It's called penis withdraw. Or alcoholism. I get them confused these days.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
Hey remember that time you called a woman a "man in a dress" and then threw up in a drinking fountain?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
But in today's society it's frowned upon not to wear pants in public.
My ladyscape is the envy of many and the shangrila of few. I will display it proudly.
"Local woman assaults strangers with sex toy" is a headline I never want to be about me.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
My favorite part was making you pull out your lucky steelers vibrator and show it to jerome bettis at the bar
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