Ever have the mailman look at you like youre a chronic masterbator. I have.
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He's on the porch naked. Help.
Randomize
