I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
my downstairs neighbor came by to say he’s having a huge loud party tomorrow, handed me a toblerone bar, and said thank you in advance for your understanding
Randomize
