everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
I'll just tell your children you were the queen of drunk town and you had a giant purple monkey named bongo
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
Randomize
