people will do anything to get on MTV. like get pregnant.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
just chugging fertility tea and vodka, no big deal.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
This is a long quiet interstate without somebody to sext.
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
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