I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Apparently I told him the people made me order taco bell I didn't even want it. And then proceeded to turn off all the lights and sit at the kitchen table in the dark and told him not to look at me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
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