You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
you're single. I'm single. let's spend vday with the 3 most important men in our lives: ben, jerry, and josé
Can you get arrested or in trouble for punching a dead relative in a casket?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
I don't think we had sex because when I woke up he was still wearing the chicken suit.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I. Did. In fact. Sprain. My liver. This. Weekend.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
It's amazing the amount I can accomplish with a glass of wine in my hand.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Randomize
