Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
By the way, do you realize that you asked me how much you could get for your eggs last night. And once you learned the price said that you had plenty to share.
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
we woke up when the front wall of the house caught fire.
I have a mailbox and I don't know why.
Randomize
