two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I thought spray tan was a myth
?
You know, something that only happens in Jersey
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Saddle up bitches, we're going to an orgy.
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