No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
If he starts "inventing" things cut him off. The last thing he invented was chocolate chip green beans and he destroyed my kitchen
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Yeah I'm at the doctors getting a shotand don't know how to tell them I'm still probably drunk from last night
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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