i hope you realize when i said "grib" earlier i was referring to the gridded binary, a mathematically concise data format commonly used in meteorology to store historical weather forecast data. also meant in referential conjunction to my probability math class that i am failing at roughly 215pm tomorrow afternoon.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
The bald eagles cry cause u drink canadian beer.
I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
Mind if I sleep with your cousin? If I can... thanks. If no, sorry its gonna happen.
Just bought a gingerbread house kit and pregnancy tests. Happy holidays.
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
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