I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
I don't know why girls would even talk to someone as drunk as I was.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
IT'S A FUCKING GIANT POKEBALL MAD OUT OF TINY ROSES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When I die I just want my headstone to my name, date of birth-death, and TEQUILA!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
You know you're getting old when 19 year olds you've met on tinder advise you that you should start looking for a wife and/or the mother of your children
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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