Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
So right when I was pulling her underwear off with my teeth, she told me, "Stick your penis in my 'nanners." Needless to say, there was no penis-'nanner interaction.
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
He called his prostate his "boner button".
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
Going to dump some dried Xanax powder into some Mac and cheese. Can't think of a better way to avoid tasting it.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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