Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
He walked in AS I was cumming. Now even my father knows I'm a squirter.
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
She looks like she smells of sausage, sunblock and sorrow.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
My mom wants to know what to send you in a care package. She used cat emojis, so you know it's serious
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
I just feel weird about accepting their wedding invite when I've got a post-engagement video on my phone of him jacking off in my bathroom.
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