I can't open my eyes
Lol why not?
Because I have fat ankles and I'm drunk
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Listen, you need to start thinking with your vagina and not with your heart... That emotional shit is for your 30s.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
I have vodka, fruit gushers, and health insurance. Let's party.
Randomize