the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
New plan, instead of sleeping with her, I'm just going to use her to sleep with the entire sorority.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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