I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
So the bartender just told me that there was numerous people who saw me having sex on the rooftop last weekend. +1
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
I feel like I was eaten by a coyote, then shit over a cliff...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
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