So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Like will they card me for my own whiskey in shampoo bottles?
You just accidentally called me. You kept saying "Really?! Really?!!" So I can only assume you are having sub par sex
I'm currently drunk proofing my room
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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