okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
Do you think they make a "sorry in my drunken debauchery I dropped a pumpkin off the balcony and you happened to be standing right there/get well soon" card?
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
like I'd leave you in a situation like that..pfft. what kinda friend do you think I am?
...a stoned one.
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
