Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I'm wearing sunglasses around my house. Douchebag status. The hangover is real.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
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