In the future we'll all be gay
it's not cheating when I paid for it
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
please stop referring to my baby as "your little fucker"
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
