I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Not only did a random toaster end up in my house last night, it's also full of skittles.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Randomize
