Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH
I love boston
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
If the smell of things stopped me from putting things in my mouth. I wouldn't be popular with Grindr guys.
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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