His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
don't worry, i'll dog sit again, the barking made the sex better, its like he was cheering for us, we were just THAT good.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
