In a few years, 50 babies 50 states. Like it?
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
you came out with your cock in between the legs of a balloon animal. Maybe she'll think you have a sense of humor.
What kind of balloon animal was it?
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
He can move his dick. Like on its own. WHY DID I NOT GIVE BLOWJOBS BEFORE?!
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize