Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Finding an empty bathroom to shit on campus is like the quest for the fucking Holy Grail. Except with more stench and humiliation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
probably because i sent a bunch of guys a snap saying happy one year to my nipple piercings
Been there. Done that. Still have his t-shirt.
I know he’s married, but he’s still a guy with balls and a dick. He noticed my cleavage and stared at my ass. He’ll call.
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