can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
What if this is the rest of my life? Sitting at the bar waiting for someone to play Single Ladies
Hey we need to step our game up. Dad has us beat; he stole a vending machine once.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Last time i cooked this high i tried to makw bacon amd then burned myselfbon the grill, only to realize 25min latwr when the bacon wouldnt cook that the grill wasn't on. I IMAGINED the burn.
Liz Cheney wasn’t exactly on my list of women I expected to be saying “YAS QUEEN” for in 2021 but here we are
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