like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
Ever since they found the bud they've been sending me visa gift cards instead of cash. Bastards.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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