I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
On the one hand, she would be the biggest mistake of my year. On the other hand, she's here and drunk.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
you think that next time i come over to do this you can pick up the condom wrappers you used on the other girls
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
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