i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
I can only imagine the horrible things my future wife is doing on spring break right now.
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
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