dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I'll have my TA grade the tests, she needs something to do anyway. Wanna race to the bar on segways?
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
HOW ARE YOU ALWAYS DRUNK? AND WHERE ARE TOU TRYING TO GO??
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
My dad just sent me a text reminding me to bring the family beer pong championship belt. Thanksgiving 2012 just got real
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
There is absolutely a 0% chance my hips will make it out of this twerking business fully functional
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
The poop emoji wasn't even in my recents. Does that mean I'm growing up?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
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