I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
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