he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
don't tell her this, but while we were doing it doggy style I picked up my phone and changed my status to "who let the dogs out"
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
Confidence margaritas not a good idea. Just said foreskin in my presentation instead of foresight.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
Was i rolling around in a parking lot last night
I spent two entire hours explaining to a guy why I wouldn't make out with him. How was your night?
He wanted to save my dignity, I just wanted beads and jäger
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
Randomize
