White coat. Heels.
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
I'm actually glad the whole thing's over now. It's exhausting to fake a pregnancy.
Imagine not having to fake it.
Yeah, I should never have kids, probably.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
I just wrote a self loathing message to self, wrapped my credit card in it, put it in an envelope, sealed it with another hate messame, and put it in my lock box. So. That's where I'm at.
We made a blanket fort in my dorm room and fucked in it. Twice. I'm in love.
Randomize
