I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Randomize
