I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
She punched my vomit. In midair. Back into my mouth.
3 things I learned last night: 1.) I'm not as light as I used to be. 2.) Sex on the roof of a convertible is a really bad idea. 3.) The hospital now has super glue pens for sealing minor cuts instead of stitches!
You're right. Single life welcomed me back with open arms. It's like it knew it wasnt going to be long when I left.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
I'm just over here all sober hanging with two high people talking about how they're "free-spirited stallions."
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
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